kill her, kiss her

you looked better when you were miserable
I would embed myself into the creases under your eyes  
when you fell asleep at half four in the afternoon

your guilt and all the psychotic thoughts in your head
were superior to mine because you put them there

I never loved you but I was glad for your slow burning
poetic misery that grabbed me violently by the throat
and put knives in my hand for when you eventually left me
for the beautiful cunt who would make you cupcakes
when you were sad and love you because she was capable of it   

I wanted desperately to be your demise
but I’ll just have to settle for creating my own.



the winds attempts at tearing me apart
were exhausting on my tired remains
but it was masking the smell of alcohol
a drunken stranger had spilt on my jeans
my red eyed lack of sleep warps your form
into static blurs of misery I was responsible for
the soft edges of your haunted glare were burning holes
in the back my throat and I wanted to die
or pick up a sharp rock to split myself with
for a while you kept my blood settled
but now I'm spilling at the edges 
and trying not to drown in myself
or the hatred I could see sprouting
like sharpened thorns from your chest.



Things are colder when you’re waiting
The glacial air bleeds its bitterness over me
Cocooning me in dense hollowness
That preoccupation couldn't cut me out of.

You are the parts of my skin that are untarnished
By shards of ice shot down at me from the Gods
I am metal scraps of a person contained in a shell
If you shake me hard enough by the shoulders, I rattle.

When I fracture apart, slash me into smaller pieces
And throw my scraps into the closest river you can find
So I can rest at the bottom amongst my discards
And stare eternally at the liquefied sky.