kill her, kiss her

you looked better when you were miserable
I would embed myself into the creases under your eyes  
when you fell asleep at half four in the afternoon

your guilt and all the psychotic thoughts in your head
were superior to mine because you put them there

I never loved you but I was glad for your slow burning
poetic misery that grabbed me violently by the throat
and put knives in my hand for when you eventually left me
for the beautiful cunt who would make you cupcakes
when you were sad and love you because she was capable of it   

I wanted desperately to be your demise
but I’ll just have to settle for creating my own.