withdrawals and indifference

darling, I need you like a bullet in the head
I could live without your civil attempts of consenting rape
when you grind your teeth it drives me mad
and I tick like a vibrating clock right off the edge of the table top
on the occasions you see past my mask of consideration
you suffocate, while breathing normally, on the atmosphere around you

sometimes I imagine you spiking my coffee with cyanide
on those days I would barely say anything because of constriction
and I hate it when you’d ask me if I was hungry  
I could count the things I’d eaten today on one hand
and your willowy form was number three
fold me into a lantern and set me alight; fold me up and let me die.