absences of light

the sky
changes colour
with my curtains drawn

  daylight blinds me into submission

you descend
in shades of blue
confused by my aesthetics

  i am rotting flesh on the inside 

on intermittent thursdays
you would try and mend me
with kindness  

  i hated you for that

but i am absent
and my eyes are dimmer
than you remember

  i am almost opaque 

within the mist of my obscurity
your defects couldn't be measured 
against a light spectrum

  and maybe that was the problem

i have sunken too far
into this maelstrom of darkness 
to resurface alive.