colour palates

today i am scarlet veined
and swollen
compliance has numbed
my indifference
into swatches of passivity
and exhaustion
my stench of dissatisfaction
is barely masked
by dabs of chemical laced florals
and cheap tobacco

yesterday i was maroon
and unreflective
like a boat
on murky nautical waters
i have tried to subdue my agony
in shallow blues
but all I have managed to do
is smudge the corners
of my greying displacement 

i have been compressing
into absence
and soon my layers of excess
will start to flake
i hope i shred
into sharpened points of colour
so i can tear open
the heads of neon coloured men
who ask to be ingrained
into my ashen hues.