i would like you to know how sad i feel when the world dims,
i don’t know what it was about the desolation, but it breaks me.
i wanted to expire and drift towards the star spotted skies.
maybe up there i could find a home in your scarred arms.
but i am marooned on the ground and the night hangs over me.
i am hollow and dusty. i sometimes forget that i have a heart,
but i am reminded by the tightening in my chest when unease
streaks its way upwards and i cannot escape from my thoughts.
i am paralysed by despair that i cannot remember acquiring.
i can only function in dark rooms, empty of bodies and eyes,
they strain the banks of my conscious stream. i have sunken there.
i have drowned all the hands that have held mine in this place.
and immersed all the bodies i had traced with my tired eyes,
until they stilled and i had forgotten how they had tasted at 2am.
the silent hum of apocalyptic evenings sits heavy on my bones.
i wanted nothing more than to lay on my own in this black,
and pray my curtains stall the cold light for a little while longer.