what novemeber has become

i am a fluctuation
of indifferences
and stuttering catch-22s
searching for alternatives
to love in creases of soft flesh
and against walls
of misty alleyways
i am haunting myself
into submission
stuck in a perpetual state
of dissatisfaction
closer to annihilation
than death
my demons
are stitching me
back together.

(reading what november has become)