spirits burn my throat while i contemplate mortality
i smoke cigarettes far to close to their ends
to burn out the taste of the little blue pill
i held underneath my tongue to distort me
an indulgent artist trapped behind self built glass
creating alter egos to my own personal masochist
i want shards of light to disfigure my body
and leak luminescence all over my pretences
i'll light a thousand candles just to blow them out
and have the smell bleed me towards neurosis.  

(reading gravitating)

lack of transparency

i am inbetween
multiple states of transitions
trying not to drown
with sulphur into my lungs
it gets harder to breathe with clarity
harder not see flaws in lovers
see their dependences
i want to claw their eyes out
and hang them around my room
so they can see how unremarkable i am
i am a self tortured proxy of useless data
floating around factual contradictions
never quite solving anything
can i become self destructive at will
how many drugs will i have to mix
to erase the person i'm becoming.

(reading lack of transparency)