eternal grieving

i am deflating

all the misery
i had harnessed
no longer claws
at my chest

no longer
pulls blood
from my wrists

i miss
feeling so empty
i would become numb
a bleeding tree
content with being rooted
in its pain

maybe this thought
makes me abnormal
but there's a sort of
artistic masochism
in an eternal grieving.

(reading eternal grieving)